March 31, 2018

The Discomfort Series Episode Three: The Public

Turtleneck–Thrifted. Printed Pants–Thrifted. Belt–Thrifted. Boots–Target.

Hello, and welcome back to the world of style posts!

I know the last few posts haven’t been of any style or outfit shoots, but I’m experimenting with diversifying my content. I’ve had good responses to mixing my writing samples, personal stories, and style posts on here, so expect more of that.

I shot this outfit over Winter Break, so I’ve been hiding it from y’all for a while. At first, I wasn’t a fan of how the shoot turned out; I didn’t think there were enough redeemable shots, I felt like I looked weird in most of the photos, and on-location shoots can be really hit-or-miss for me in terms of how comfortable I am ~on set~. But, after giving the photos a few months to chill on my SD card, I looked over them again and found that this was still a look I wanted to share with you all.

So let’s talk about the outfit! What this look lacks in function, it makes up for in color scheme. The pants are a very thin and flowing material, offering me literally no warmth whatsoever. The top is a thicker cotton material, with a ribbed torso and high neck. But–look at all that brown! I feel like a 70’s living room.

The two pieces are held together by one of my favorite old belts from Goodwill, with gold details matching the bridge of my glasses and the hoops in my ears. My hair is just air-dried, and the lighter tones from my fading dye job add to the gold and brown theme.

I wouldn’t say I’m totally comfortable wearing hoops yet–this shoot was my first time dipping into the trend and I almost ripped my ear apart multiple times that day. But, as I get more comfortable with having statement jewelry pieces, I could see myself getting used to it. I just need someone to take me to more parties.

this was taken moments after I almost lost an ear.

This outfit was shot in Ponce City Market in Atlanta, Georgia. I wanted to shoot here because 1) it has some pretty cool spaces for photography and 2) it’s always busy as hell. That is where the challenge lies for me.

The second I changed in the bougie bathroom on the first floor, I was already panicking. Who was going to see me? What were they going to think? Do I look too young? Do I look painted up? Do I look like a joke? These questions, and the discomfort I have with doing things like this in public, usually end in really terrible photos. I just don’t perform well as a pseudo-model when I feel like a lot of untrusted eyes are on me. Maybe it comes from shyness, misplaced modesty, or a lack of confidence in my own right to be the focus of a camera. Either way, I usually prefer to shoot in private.

But part of this journey of building confidence is building both subjective and objective confidence; I am confident because I love myself as a human being no matter what, yes, but I am also confident because I have a genuine belief in myself and the way I look. I can love myself and like myself at the same time. Let strangers do with that what they will.

So, with that said, it’s on to the lookbook.